What happens when you don’t feel like doing anything is that you don’t do anything. There is no office beckoning you to a meeting, no paper or presentation due by Friday and outside of some Christmas shopping, doing the dishes and a round of golf or two no real deadlines. Some people can manage without a schedule or deadlines but I now realize I can not truly get done what I want to accomplish without either in my daily life.
When I was in the “weeds” at work all I could dream about was this time in my life. A time when I can do what I want when I want and focus on my art. But as the hamster wheel slows down it also comes to a complete stop. Is that a good thing? For awhile but there comes a time when you have to pull yourself up off the sofa and away from the television, remind yourself what you really want to be doing and meet your excuses head on. Let’s add some daily deadlines to the bigger plan, I tell myself. And stick to them. Now is the time, or let’s just say once the New Year gets here, to look in the mirror and decide what it is you want to do each day and get to doing it. And start with a plan on paper and a calendar.
Breath in, breath out. I am looking out at the surf right now. It is kicking and curling and the tips of the waves are spraying in the wind. And as I sit here I am reminded about the beach birds I saw a few days ago. They just appeared one day, hundreds of them, and even though it was lightly raining I grabbed my camera and a jacket and went to capture them.
It was cold, windy and the light wasn’t ideal but I slowly made my way down from the beach walk over onto the sand. After I felt I had enough photos I decided to see how close I could get to them without them flying away. Laughing as the image of Kung Fu walking over rice paper popped into my head I would stop every ten or fifteen feet and take a few more pictures and be amazed that they were still there. Finally I decided I had to try to get on the flat sand with them and I set my camera to wide angle assuming they would all just fly up and over me...but they didn’t. They squawked a bit as they hopped and huddled around me but there I was, standing within this large sanctuary of birds, the soft rain and the steady surf as my music. I was down there for hours and it truly was amazing.
So while I have been beating myself up this week because I didn’t do as much writing or painting as I had hoped I now look back and know I was there if for a few moments, yellowfishing. And it’s not every day when a large number of birds invite you down to the beach to hang with them, right?
Oh, and please let me know if you can identify who this guy is with the band around his ankle!? Java!
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